Category Archives: medical

Diary of a Hotshot Medical Courier

I am slowly getting back to finding the time to record my life for both of you to read.

I’ll start easy…

Tonight it rained.  Rain is great.  Except when your night job is picking up large boxes containing human specimens and you have to cart them to your car and then to the airport.  Then, rain sucks.

What kind of specimens, you ask?

Well…  The kind of work I do is referred to in the world of logistics as “hot shot courier” service.  Basically, a company or an individual needs something shipped yesterday.  They call one of about fifty companies who are clients of my boss.  My boss’ company is a small operation consisting of herself and four drivers.  She takes the orders from the client company.  Their conversations go something like this.

old car

In olden days, couriers came in packs of four and wore nifty motoring caps.

“Can you get someone out to X location for a pickup by 1600?”  That’s 4 PM.  For some reason in logistics we always use military time.

“Let me check what drivers I have available.”  She then calls me, for instance.  “Do you think you could be to X location in the next 25 minutes?  They have a pickup.  It’s ready now and it’s 3 boxes at 45 lbs. total”

To which I respond “I’m good to go,” as I grab a quick snack and a bottle of water, my binder containing all of my TSA forms and partially filled out airway bills, and double-check that the hand truck is in the back of the car.

I then race to the location, pick up the packages, and call it back in to her so she knows I’ve got them and this can be tracked.  Along the way she will have given me flight information.  Why’s that?  Well, my next step is to race them off to the airport (in this case a HUGE international airport with many cargo facilities) and “tender” the packages, making sure they get on the appropriate flights without a hitch.  The boxes generally contain human blood samples and the like and are almost always packed in dry ice.  That last bit means that the packages cannot be x-rayed so I had to pass a background check establishing me as a “known shipper”.  I also have to be able to quickly convert kilos to pounds as the dry ice is measured one way and the total weight another.  If an animal is already booked for travel on that flight he or she takes priority.  Animals and dry ice cannot both occupy the cargo hold as one isn’t making it out alive.  Hint: it’s not the ice.

Anyway, all of this is both fun and exciting.  I truly enjoy making these deliveries happen.  Sometimes it’s a delivery in reverse of the above where I pick something up at the airport and deliver it to a client.  Sometimes I get to drive long distances like up into Oklahoma or down to San Antonio.  Those jobs pay very well.  I like the mental challenge of placing myself in different places at different times in order to complete the job when needed.  I never realized how good of a logistical planner I was until I started doing this.  But then again, I could see it clearly during my day job when I noticed one day last week that I was simultaneously cognizant of 12 children between the ages of 7 and 8 who were all doing different tasks in different parts of the classroom and who all seemed to need my help at the same time.  I got this.

So the rain…  Yeah, carting these packages around in the rain is not as much fun as you’d think.  The boxes get wet, the paperwork gets wet, I get wet.

But we need the rain so I’m not complaining.

 

I can’t wait to see what tomorrow brings.

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They Sold the Farm!

Some of you know that my vision is terrible. Not my “vision” vision but my actual eyesight. 

I was told when I was ten that it would get progressively worse until my mid-twenties and then level off; maybe even get better. 

They lied. I’m almost 40 and it’s still getting worse. Granted it’s not getting worse as quickly as it once was. 

Nevertheless yearly eye exams are not a luxury for me. I have to get in to the optometrist or I can’t see. 

I am currently sitting in the chair. 

This is fun. 

What in the world does that say?

I’ve already been run through the battery of pre-testing options. There’s the puff of air. Still not sure what this one is for. Then there’s the “big E” test. Newsflash: I can’t even really see the “E” at this point without my contacts. 

Some tests are new. A retinal photograph has replaced dilation. This is nice as I really never liked stepping out into the mid-day sun after one of these visits looking like an anime character. 

But they got rid of one of my favorite tests. For almost thirty years I’ve been coming to these visits and looking into a giant box at a picture of a farmhouse. Again, the purpose of this test has never been explained to me. I always assumed it had something to do with focus. Then again it could just be a way to calm me down, not that I’ve ever been agitated at the eye doctor. 

This test is so ridiculous.

Truly the farm was a peaceful place. If you’ve ever had this test you know what I’m talking about. It was in a field. I imagine it was in Iowa. There was a lot of corn. I made up a backstory about the farm. It was owned by an elderly couple who’s children had moved away after industrialization had rendered their role in the agri-business field redundant. This couple now wait at home for someone to visit. Once a year I pop into their lives. I feel like such a voyeur. But I think they understand. They’re just happy for the company. Their rotten kids never bring the grandkids – Kip and Karen – around. Brats. 

Where was I?

Oh yes, the farm is gone. All that remains is a hot air balloon and there isn’t enough Valium on earth to get me in that thing.

There’s also the omni-present “better/worse” flipping lens test. Yeah… as I’ve said before, leave the room, doc. I’ll flip it around and find what works. Then I’ll call you back in and you can write it down. 

St. Lucy, patroness of the blind, pray for us!

UPDATE: They just upped my script. -4.25 in both eyes and I get to try daily wears for the first time!