You (both of you) have been eagerly awaiting an update on my new workout so I’d like to take a moment to share.
Actually, my mind is a jumbled mess right now so I’d like to take a lot of moments to share (and sort) a lot of things. Indulge me? Look, I’ve been through a lot lately. Consider it your work of mercy.
At work today where I joyfully bounced around between the spiritual battle raging all round us as relayed in Lewis’ The Screwtape Letters and the concept of authentic freedom as being something wholly different than license; the subject of this blog came up. I don’t hide my blog from my students but I sure don’t advertise it either. “If you can find it, you can read it,” I tell them. I just like to keep things by and large separate on this one front as I feel I can be more authentically free that way. A student asked “So why do you blog?” I thought about it and said “I blog because I need to.”
The truth is that I do love to write. As I said to my trainer-friend recently “Some men can move heavy weights around. I play with words.” Looking back I truly hope he didn’t take that as an insult as I always wanted to be able to one of the former and I greatly admire men like him who actually can move heavy weights around. Weightlifting gives you an enviable body. Writing can, well, let’s talk about that…
I write because I am a twin. Sound odd? OK, I was born, in all likelihood, speaking a secret language that only one other person understood. So I spent the next few decades trying out different forms of communication to get my message across to a larger audience. That period of monosyllabic grunts was kind of awkward for sure.
OK. Here it is. I write because I love to write. I don’t know who reads it and I don’t always care. After my dad died I got a comment on a post about his funeral. A woman said she had been reading for years and felt that she knew me and wanted to convey her sympathy. I was touched. I have never met her but we have a connection. Words, you could say, are sacramental. They make real in the physical world that which is invisible — namely our thoughts. And when we write we are committing our souls to posterity. It might not ever be very good writing but a piece of my mind and heart will live on as long as there are eyes to see it. I have seen this so clearly over the past two months while reading The Chronicles of Narnia to my son at bedtime. I have become enthralled with these books, with Lewis. I said to my son: “How amazing to think that this man wrote these books so long ago. He’s dead but the thoughts in his mind are still speaking to us. His brilliance lives. The soul lives.”
To me, it’s fun. I know what I’m capable of. It is probably the only area of my life where I feel any measure of confidence.
I certainly don’t always feel that confidence in the gym (or the home gym as the case may be). And that’s where we end for this post. Did you really think I’d ramble on for 2500 words about a mess of different subjects with no underlying theme? Ha. Guess again.