Thinking about my musings on resolutions yesterday…
About a month ago I kind of
gave up put aside my fitness regimen for a little while. Christmas was going to be an unconquerable foe for me. I could have exercised more will power but I didn’t.
What did I stop doing? I stopped running. Stopped working out. Stopped caring. At least for a little while… and I’m OK with that. I feel like I needed the break psychologically. I didn’t feel like I was getting anywhere, lost my motivation. I was always fearful that I wasn’t getting this whole thing “right” in the first place and I need the encouragement of experienced pros to fuel me along.
Did this move make sense for me? Well…
It’s January. I can see the results of my work-stoppage.
Who knew I could put on weight so quickly? I’m feeling it, too. I didn’t realize I had developed as much muscle mass and tone as I had until it all but vanished seemingly overnight. Oh, and guess who’s got a bit of a gut now? Yeah, I put on a suit this morning for work. It doesn’t fit like it did three weeks ago.
My point in writing this? I toyed with the idea of setting a realistic goal for the new year regarding all of this. NOT a resolution. Part of me wants to go big. In 12 months could I run a half-marathon? Part of me wants to go laissez-faire. In 12 months could I walk a half-marathon?
I’m sure there are other middle-aged men out there who’ve experienced the same sense as me. I’m almost 40, never got serious about fitness until the past six months, was doing sort of OK, accepting that I’ll never have the cover model body, want to keep going, hit a wall, lost motivation, doesn’t want to give up or be a loser at this, can’t decide how to proceed.
Anyone have any thoughts?
I had a trainer who provided me with more help than anyone every has in this area and I will always be most grateful to him. But I can’t keep taking up his time when I can’t even figure out what I’m doing. He’s solid in that he’s been doing this so long it truly is a habit he cannot break. He will run 7 miles every Friday no matter the weather just because he always does. I think he’d tell me to keep at it, though I’m not sure he truly appreciates what it’s like for guys like me (average, ordinary human beings). And I feel like there are others who would say “life is short, enjoy it, stop running, and spend time with your kids.” But I know that I was doing this FOR my kids. I still have to tip the scales in the direction of doing something because I CANNOT allow my spine to fall apart.
Ah, self doubt… I’ sure I’ll figure something out.
OK, you can go back to your lives.