The Things We See (and Hear) When Running

I’ve been meaning to write this post for a while.

About a month ago, while on a Saturday morning run, I began to notice something.  Strange things gravitate toward me.  Let me explain…

It was Saturday morning and I had just dropped my daughter off at gymnastics.  Making use of the time, I laced up my running shoes and set off for the track out back of the high school.  Unfortunately the track was closed for resurfacing.  Undeterred, I set out around the neighborhood.  Only thing is, I wasn’t too familiar with this particular neighborhood.  I believe the locals call it “Little Guadalajara”.

Got the new Mizunos laced and I’m ready to roll.

Immediately I began to recognize that either God really likes me and hence provides me with amazing things about which to scratch my head and then laugh or He’s just messing with me.  Below, some of the many sights and sounds from that morning.

First up, the obligatory, well there’s no nice way to put this…  condom.

Because, you know, some people just gots to have it right now, like on the cold, hard, pavement.  Can’t say I haven’t been there.  Oh wait, yes I can.

I continued down the road, jumping over the occasional empty beer bottle, wondering where in the hell I actually was.  Turning a corner, I realized that I wanted to add some mileage to my run.  I turned into a parking lot.  That’s when I encountered this:

Watch out for the poor bastards in the left lane.  What’s even more disturbing is that this was in the parking lot of a grade school.

Finally, as I was nearing the end of this bizarre journey, I totally stumbled upon the jackpot.  No, this was like gold (if I hadn’t been worried about infectious disease).

A chicken.  A live chicken.

Reflecting for a bit as I cooled down I think it’s that God really does love me.  In any other hands, these things are just random images.  To me, they are snippets of the humor of the Divine.  I put my earbuds back in and cranked up the beat.  And if you laugh at my selection I will come to your house and I will cut you.

Perhaps if I changed my music up a bit…  Nah.

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