My son makes me laugh. Very hard.
Here it is, a very lazy Saturday after Thanksgiving. We’ve all slept in a bit. We’re also in the midst of a three-day monsoon that’s going to dump another 5 inches of rain on us before the day is out. Yep, it’s that kind of day.
As I sat down to check my mail and Twitter feeds, my boy approached from the other side of the counter.
“Daddy,” he said, “I’ve finished our schedule for the day.” I didn’t realize we had a schedule today. See above about the rain and laziness and SATURDAY.
“Sure, son, give it to me. But go easy on Daddy. I haven’t had much coffee yet.”
“At 10:30 we all get dressed,” he began.
“Son, it’s 10:30 now,” I said. “That means I’d have to get up from this chair. Remember what I said about ‘going easy on Daddy’?”
“Daddy, we can’t sit around the house all day,” he continued. I suppose that makes a certain amount of sense, however, I WILL finish my coffee first. He carried on with a few more of his favorite activities like visiting the library. Again, not going to happen because I want to stay dry. Truth is I had already determined that his schedule was a pipe dream and definitely not for me and so I had tuned out a bit. Until he mentioned the following.
“At 11:30 I spray Ocean for Men on me.”
OK, back that one up. For the uninitiated, Ocean is one of the men’s fragrances sold at Bath and Body Works, a store where his aunt does some part time work (pretty much for the discount). My son, owing to his birthright (being born in New Jersey) is very much concerned with smelling nice and having perfect hair. On that second front, I haven’t had the heart to tell him to enjoy it now because it will likely be gone one day. But on the body spray front, I had to laugh. I questioned his prioritization of his scent on a daily agenda. “Son, did you just list spraying a fragrance on your schedule for the day?”
“What?” came his incredulous reply. “I like to smell good.”
Of course you do, son. Of course you do.