My post yesterday about the kettlebell drew more readers than I’ve had in a long while. Included in those readers was a man I affectionately dubbed “TP” in that post. He called me up and thanked me for what I had written. “Only thing is,” he said, “My wife said I’m a complete jerk.” So, Mrs. TP, if you’re reading this, please know that your husband is (normally) far from a jerk. In fact, as I’ve stated, I’m very grateful for his help and motivation. This is the first time I’ve ever had a personal trainer and I’m thus far pleased with the results. Granted, I did have to practically abduct the trainer and force him to train me against his will. Don’t worry. When I’ve reached 4% body fat, I will destroy the negatives.
Speaking of 4% bf, I want to mention some other facts about TP. Did you know he first appeared on these pages as a character called “Zippy“? Truth. Follow the link, you’ll see. So, TP knows me well enough. He knows that I have some insecurity about reaching my fitness goals and I tease him about it by ridiculing him for his “beastliness”. One thing he detests is when I try to make a comparison. There are probably a few reasons for this. As I said in my last post, comparisons with him are dumb because he’ll always come out on top. He has been doing this a lot longer. That’s one of the reasons I hired him. There I go again… It’s one of the reasons I coerced him with blackmail to train me. I absolutely trust that he’s done all the work and figured out how to get in great shape. If he could do it for himself, he ought to be able to do it for others, right? Did not Abe Vigoda do the same thing for Barney Miller?
I play the piano. I play it quite well. Been playing since I was 4 years-old. If I were to “train” another on how to play, I know it would take several years for that person to reach a point where he or she could play like I can. But even with the passage of time, there’s something that person would have to have that I cannot give. He would have to have talent. So, TP, listen up… When I tease him for being “superman”, it’s a complement, truly. Not everyone has been blessed by God with physical abilities. I try not to make the comparison as though I’ll ever reach the same stature as him. I just like to imagine reaching that kind of a goal. Case in point: I’m currently running a 9:30-10:00 minute pace. It’s kind of humiliating only because I WANT to do better. I don’t know if I CAN do better but I want to try. If I were to ask TP “TP, how long did it take you to go from 10:00 to your current 7:30?” he’d likely respond “3 weeks.” And that’s cool. It’s actually funny. And it’s a gift from God that one should not shy away from. If I were to ask that same question in a British accent, it would be even funnier.
When I was 4 years-old and being tossed from a burning building, setting me up for a broken body as an adult, there was a child, barely a year and a half old living across the continent. That child was going to grow up to meet me one day and offer incredible training advice that would finally help me get my broken body back in shape. See, it is a gift and I’m thankful for it.
So, TP, will I run as fast as you? Doubtful. I’d like to and I don’t think I’ll stop trying. Your time is a benchmark for me, nothing more. In our training session the other day, he showed me a stretch and said “This one’s great because while you’re stretching you can admire your lats.” He’s a comedian. I don’t have lats. I’d like to and I don’t think I’ll stop trying. The thing is, I know I’ve made progress. Am I at his 4% fat levels? Far from it. I’ve never properly checked but I’m sure it’s way up there. Is it coming down? You bet. Am I the only one who sees that? Maybe. What’s important is that he has seen, I hope, that after these past four months, I’m serious, dedicated, and willing to do whatever he suggests. I’m doing things I’ve never done before like running and using a kettlebell and not just once or twice. I like how I feel and I sort of like how I’m shaping up. Can he get me to 4%? That’s kind of up to him. See how I did that there? Clever, huh? I just placed the burden all on his shoulders. What? They’re bigger than mine anyway.
Getting shredded, that’s the goal. We’ll continue to monitor the situation like a hostage crisis. Until then, this is my cheat day, per TP’s instructions and I may have already tapped into a big bottle of wine and a very large, unhealthy pizza topped with… enriched flour.