I used to think that I understood what it meant to be open to God’s Will.
And boy, was I wrong.
Over the past few months two separate things going on in my life have given me pause to wonder what God’s Will for me really is. There are some things I can say pretty confidently truly are His Will. For instance, I’m married and have kids. That’s set in stone and those facts aren’t changing. And I’m very happy that this has been His Will for me.
And then I’ve begun to wonder… Am I happy that He Willed these things for me because I also want them for myself or is it the other way around?
So in both of these areas of my life there are some common themes. I have almost zero control over either of them and they both involve the cooperation of other people in order to see completion.
Starting to become frustrated over these things I started questioning what Our Lord could really be asking of me. And it dawned on me. Perhaps He simply wants me to show that I am open to His Will. But then, I always thought I was.
And that is where the notion that I might simply be “open” to the things I also want began to become apparent. This has caused me to reconsider what it means to be open to His Will.
In the end, I figure it has something to do with wanting to bring my will into line with His mixed together with a whole lot of a recognition that being open to His Will sometimes means asking Him to help me crush my own.
And in this lies true happiness.
Just a few random musings. Pardon the train of thought (and all the sentences beginning with conjunctions).