When You Say Something Insanely Stupid to Your Kids

Greetings again!

My crazy kittens found time to gang up, I mean embrace at the end of the violin lesson.

My crazy kittens found time to gang up, I mean embrace at the end of the violin lesson.

Tonight my little kittens (how I affectionately refer to my kids because they’re cuddly but can easily gouge your eyes out and tear your furniture) resumed their music lessons for a new year.

Son plays violin and daughter plays piano (like her old man).  Their teachers happen to be sisters who also happen to live around the corner from each other.  It’s convenient except that this amounts to an hour and a half escapade for Daddy carting the little ones to two different houses, violin in tow.  Thank God the piano’s not portable.

Lesson #1:  The piano
This one went fairly well.  Baby Girl has moved up from 15 minutes to 30.  She played her pieces flawlessly and, like her old man, followed every rule.  She stood up from the bench, bowed to her teacher, and we headed to the next stop.

Lesson #2: The violin
By this point in the game, having sat through one lesson that bored him and having been in and out of the car in 20 degree weather Sonny Boy was in pretty rare form.  He hammed it up with the teacher but was overall pretty decent.

His sister, on the other hand, could not resist interjecting.  You see, she had just received her just reward for hard work and dedication.  So when son’s teacher asked him to select a piece to play and he wanted to talk about a Peanuts comic strip he had read earlier and how funny it was, well…

“Hey!” shouted my five year-old little girl.  “Pick a song or I’ll pick it for you!”

Where that came from I do not know.  And it would have simply subsided had it not been for dopey dad (that’s me).

I’m normally a pretty put-together sort of guy.  I have my massive insecurities about my life — hence I hide behind the facade of humor and post every detail of my day in a blog, seeking attention and love from strangers — but otherwise I’m totally normal.  Here, for some unknown reason, was my response to her.

“Sweetheart, one more outburst like that and I’ll take you home.”

To which my darling daughter replied:

“Without my brother?”

Yes, I suppose my words were poorly conceived.  I promise the idea sounded right at the time but she did have a point.  It got worse when she continued.

“So you’ll take me home and then, what?  Come back for him?”

Her logic hurt me.  Even the teacher laughed.

So what do you do in a situation like this?  You simply say the following magic words and all will be well.

“Angel darling?  Play with Daddy’s iPhone.   We’ll get a treat on the way home.”

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5 responses to “When You Say Something Insanely Stupid to Your Kids

  1. Hail to the saviour! My phone has always rescued me, more than I’d like to admit.

  2. Hmm, sounds like she’s been hanging around her aunt too much. Or maybe not enough? That is quite funny and I honestly can’t see her doing that, but then again…she is a “woman” and…well…we have much patience until it runs out. 😀

  3. Great to see the old iPhone and bribery trick is universal!

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