When My Son Went to the Pool and I went to Costco: Father and Son Hit Up Jersey, Day 3

To say that my son loves splashing around in a pool is an understatement.  He probably enjoys it more than Hillary Swank enjoys bad acting (she does so much of it).  Apologies to Hillary Swank.  OK, no apologies to Hillary Swank.

This morning the little man and I woke up and, owing to the fact that it was Sunday, went to mass.  I must say that going to an 8:45 AM mass as opposed to the noon mass we usually go to at home seems to have had an effect on him.  By that I mean that he generally sat still and did NOT make a pterodactyl out of the bulletin.  Yay!  Dad of the year!  He especially enjoyed going with his uncle to pick out the donuts.

In the afternoon my brother-in-law, apparently thinking that I was “agitated” the day before at my son’s behavior at the same pool, plotted simply to take his kids and my son and to let me “rest”.  Look, this is how it works.  Raising a boy is like driving a car… hard.  You just have to wear his transmission out and show him who’s boss or else he’ll never learn proper behavior.  Was I stern with him the day before?  I didn’t think so.  I just don’t play games when it comes to water safety.  I’m not a helicopter parent.  But I figure I only have two kids.  Best not to leave anything to chance.

So what did I do?

Not the actual Target in question

Not the actual Target in question

I went to Target and Costco with my sisters.  It was great fun meandering through the aisles of our old haunts.  The best part came at the end.  As one of my sisters was checking out at the register the woman behind her shoved some of my sister’s items forward on the conveyor belt to make room for her own things.  My sister turned around to see what had taken place and the woman said  without provocation “I said I was sorry before I did it.”  Apparently that makes being rude as hell acceptable.  Whatever.  She let it go.  Well, as we were exiting the store a few minutes later the same sister was relating to the other sister what had happened.  The shoving lady walked up behind us and said “Jeez!  Are you still talking about what happened back there?!”  No joke, she followed us to our car peppering her sentences with some familiar four letter words (in front of her small child).  As we were getting into our car the couple in the next car were getting out of theirs’.  They had seen what had transpired and laughed along with us at the absurdity of it.  The woman turned to us and said “She’s lucky she didn’t shove my stuff or she’d have been on… the… ground.  End of story.”  The guy she was with remarked how funny it would be if the crazy lady rolled up next to us and yelled out her window “Still TALKING?!?!?!”

So, you see, kids, there are some people in this world who do not know what it’s like to be told “no”.  Then there are others who instinctively reach out to say “Hey, we’re with you.”  A quick stop for iced coffee made everything better.

Oh, and after son was finally asleep, we watched a movie.  With Hillary Swank.

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