WE NEED YOU!… to Help Our Oktober-fest-a-rama-palooza

Hey Harvey Fans!  Here’s your chance to help a great cause and win some awesome gear!  As you can see, I love exclamation points!  Seriously, though!  My wife is telling me to stop using the exclamation points!  Come on, honey, just one more? (!)

sfm oktoberfest logo 2013Let’s get down to brass tacks.  Because what I’m asking requires a bit of a sacrifice from you, my loyal and much beloved audience.  And I have never asked for anything like this before so you know it’s something I’m taking seriously.

My children attend a Catholic Montessori school here in the Dallas area.  The school’s big fundraiser is an Oktoberfestapaloozarama!  There I go again…  Sorry.  Oktoberfest, right.  Anyway, this Oktober-licious mega-event features games, rides, attractions, a parade of rare Indian sapphire-tusked elephants, beer, beer, beer, and a topless go-go!  I’m just being told that go-go has been cancelled.  In its place will be a living Chaplet of Divine Mercy.  That does seem more appropriate.

But the best thing about this year’s Oktober-shebang is the awesome raffle!  For the laughs I’ve given you these past few years as I’ve poured out my life story and exploited my young children and unsuspecting airline passengers who were just talking on the phone; couldn’t you consider putting down the Malomars and buying one of our raffle tickets?  Come on…  You know you weren’t going to do anything else with that money except pay your gas and electric bill.  So here are the details:

Tickets are $10 or 3 for $25.

The top prizes are:

  • $1000 cash-card
  • iPad Mini
  • Kindle Fire

The link to securely purchase tickets (through PayPal) can be found be clicking HERE.

The best part is that for each person who buys a ticket, I will name a star.  I already have some lovely names picked out so hurry up and buy those tickets.  Jesus will smile upon you from heaven.  Truthfully, He was probably going to do that anyway but you can pretend it is because of your great generosity.  Plus, your good will in making this donation (which is tax deductible) will get Harvey off the hook for all of his volunteering hours this year.  Listen, I don’t even really understand what “tax deductible” means.  My wife handles the bills.  But I do know fun!  And when you donate, a kitten with wings will be born an angel and that spells fun to me!  And if you actually make it to the event itself, you could be eligible to win a 2001 Volvo!  Sadly, I’m not making that up.

Go!  What are you waiting for!  Go!!!  GOGOGOGOGOGOGOGO!!!!!

Oh, and thank you!

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