Last night, as the party wound down from St. Joseph’s Day, a group of us were sitting around the living room. My wife’s aunt Lisa was talking about a new diet supplement she was trying. The initial ramblings about this product contained such gems as “it was free, I just had to pay $50 in shipping and handling.” A moment later I had my back turned while I was online and Lisa was reading some of the “literature” that came with the green tea extract.
Green tea extract contains carcinogenic acid that helps reduce fat cell production.
I was about to whip my head around and say “What?!”
I didn’t get that far before Lisa added: “I wonder what carcinogenic acid is?…”
“Lisa,” I interjected, “carcinogenic just means ‘cancer-causing’.”
Lisa’s eyes popped open wide. “Well that can’t be right then.” I stared at her and added “I hope not otherwise they get the ‘ultimate truth in advertising’ award.”
“Oh I see,” Lisa said. “OK, Green tea extract contains carthogenic acid…”
A few minutes later the conversation turned to the Ped Egg, a wonderful as-seen-on-TV product shaped like an egg with a cheese grater on the bottom of it. Its purpose is to exfoliate the bottom of one’s feet. My wife remarked that the Ped Egg worked great but that her father could not use it because of his diabetes. Lisa’s daughter, Ashley, asked why. “Well, diabetics don’t have the same nerve sensations in their feet and they might end up rubbing too deeply and cutting their feet.” Wilma added “and then they’d bleed to death.” I wouldn’t have gone that dark that fast myself. But Wilma sure did. She then blurted out:
My Ped Egg killed me!
Tonight, this same motley crew were assembled at a Benihana Steakhouse for Lisa’s other daughter Mandy’s birthday. “Why do they eat like this?” asked Lisa. She was referring to the grill in the middle of the table and the whole stir-fried approach to everything. My wife remarked that this is how they eat in Japan. Lisa then said with complete innocence “They eat like this in Japan?!”
We left dinner having convinced Aunt Lisa that the Japanese eat every meal, even their morning bowl of Life Cereal, at a table with a grill in it.
I have too much fun with this crowd.