But It’s Not Even Advent!

OK, sort of fell a little behind on posting this weekend but, through the magic of pre-dating I’ve corrected my error. Apologies to all who were in the fetal position in a corner, crying for lack of my words, which have been described by Blogger Bi-Weekly as “Magnificent Crap”.

Today we celebrated the Feast of Christ the King. This day marks the final Sunday of our Catholic liturgical calendar. It also marks the final time my children will be promised donuts as a reward for good behavior at mass as that promise holds absolutely no water with them. Instead, I will now promise not to subject them to an Alan Alda marathon if only they comport themselves well at mass. By the way, kids, when you get older and read this I want you to know just how malevolant you are in church sometimes… I’ll be sure to remind you by purchasing an air horn and blowing it in your ears when you’re sleeping. You’ll love it.

After mass, my wife took our daughter to see The Nutcracker while my son and I headed to see The Trains. I’m not sure why I itlaicized that since it’s not the title of anything other than a seasonal attraction at the mall. In reality, Ronald McDonald House sponsors this set-up. Basically, they rent space in the mall and lay out a massive model railroad that encircles the mock cities of Dallas, San Francisco, New York, DC, and “Lionelville” as well as looping through the State Fair of Texas. In this state fair, not only does Big Tex still live but he stands a good five stories taller than the neighboring Baylor Medical Center. No wonder they couldn’t save him. He couldn’t fit through the doors. Nonetheless, my son (and I) enjoyed ourselves very much. I mean, it was trains. What little boy doesn’t love trains?! Afterward we went to lunch, just the two of us.

When we got home my son agreed to help me start decorating for Christmas. This meant that he would watch Elf while I decorated for Christmas. I started by erecting the light up Nativity on the lawn. Despite the presence of pumpkins (still in place since trash gets collected tomorrow) it turned out very nicely. And… The bulbs all actually worked! After a while my wife and daughter made it home and I ventured into the garage to start pulling in boxes of decorations and our trees. Everything went according to plan — not sure what the plan was other then to pick up boxes and move them into the house. And then my darling son somehow slipped past me and I found him staring at an item in the garage. I won’t say what it is except that it has three wheels and is for his sister for her birthday. It’s a good thing I had a sheet over it; but he still managed to sneak a peak at the back of it and inquired of me what it was. “STAND DOWN!” I shouted. He looked at me somewhat confused. “I mean, step back!” He then attempted to pick the sheet up as I glared at him but he did stop. “Um, Daddy, what’s this?” he asked. I did what any good dad would do at this point. I made up a lie. “Son, that’s for the yard. It’s a… lawn thing… a seed spreader! Yeah, that’s it!” He looked up and then back at the “seed spreader”. “But I want to see it,” he said calmly. “Well you can’t! I mean, because we can only use it in the spring and… anyway, get back inside young man.” Crisis averted. The rest of the decorating turned out well and I’d say we’re probably about a third done (not counting the tree displays).

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