Today is my wife’s birthday.
And it is because of her that I am awake right now, pre-dawn on a Sunday morning.
What I mean is that because this beautiful woman graciously decided to have anything to do with me a few years ago I now have two equally beautiful children, one of whom conspired to keep me awake half the night. I finally gave up about an hour ago and came downstairs just as he (Ben) was finally drifting off to sleep.
Last night we went to dinner at a place called Il Fornaio’s, which I believe translates as “The Fornicator”. This bistro in Reston Town Center features standard Italian fare, a decent bar, and one mentally unstable waitress. I mean, really… How hard is it to handle payment on an $800 meal from six different people? Don’t tell me your troubles, lady.
When we were initially seated I had taken a spot across the table from Karla. I then had to go back to the car (parked under the restaurant in the garage) to fetch the present for Karla that I had left there accidentally. Upon my return I wound up sitting on the “inside” meaning I had to push my way past several people to get to my seat. I sat next to Crista and she, Karla, and I had a fun conversation. At one point we talked about gin and my obsession with it. Crista remarked that drinking gin was, to her, akin to licking an evergreen tree. I just love analogies like this. Crista, dear? When exactly was the last time you licked an evergreen? In any event I noted how gin’s primary botanical is juniper so she was probably closer than she realized in her connection (as bizarre as it sounded). Since gin is my tipple (a word so underused these days) I reasoned that drinking gin must be like giving one’s liver a chance to make it Christmas all year long! Hence, I came to be known as “Christmas liver”. Then again, Crista had been “pre-gaming” earlier in the day at a series of Virginia wineries. At one point she mentioned to me that a vintner had offered them a bottle of wine called Pink Chicken. Crista asked the somalier why he simply didn’t call it Salmonella.
It is now 9:12 PM. We are in a bit of quandary. This is one of those nights where there’s just too much going on the small screen. We have decided to watch Celebrity Apprentice (Gary Busey is completely crazy) while recording Sister Wives and The Kennedy’s. Unfortunately, even though technology has evolved to the point of making the voice of Christina Aguilera marketable we still cannot DVR two things simultaneously without watching one of them. Thank God TLC replays everything four hundred times in a twenty-four hour span.
My beautiful wife just informed me that we need to go to Ikea.
Almost forgot, the kids were very thoughtful today. At breakfast they presented Karla with their gift to her — a gardening basket with garden tools, a really cute card, and a gift card to a garden center since she wanted to buy a dogwood tree.
Anyway, I could go on with the minutiae of the day but the bottom line is that today is the birthday of the woman I love and since it’s only 9:30 I am fortunate to have another two and a half hours to celebrate… Now if only the Weebles would stop throwing things at us. We had champagne with our brunch and they found an open bottle. I have never been more afraid.
*** Almost forgot. There’s a clue to one of Karla’s presents that has not yet arrived hidden on this page. Any guesses?